We Got Bruce!

“Dancing with the Drag Queen Stars” Celebrity Interview With Judge, Bruce Vilanch

San FRan Bay Times
Bruce Vilanch Tells All For Dancing With The Drag Stars
By Sister Dana Van Iquity
Published: June 4, 2009

Coming to The City in an only-in-San Francisco event is the craziest, most fabu spin-off of TV’s “Dancing with the Stars” known as “Dancing with the Drag Queen Stars”! It will feature DWTS’ own Cheryl Burke herself as celebrity judge alongside Hollywood comic legend Bruce Vilanch and local drag celebrity Bebe Sweetbriar. Donna Sachet will emcee this bodacious ballroom bonanza at the beautiful Cheryl Burke Dance flagship ballroom studio at 1830 17th Street and De Haro. The first semifinal is June 6, during which five of San Francisco’s most fabulous and outrageous stars of the drag community – Suppositori Spelling, Virginia Suicide, Sable Jones, HystErica, and Paju Munro – compete with five of the hottest ballroom/Latin dancers in the world to survive elimination on the dance floor. Two couples will be chosen to move on to the finals on August 8, when they will compete against the winners of the second semifinal event on July 11. In light of this, I felt it was only proper that I thoroughly grill the fabulous Bruce Vilanch for the occasion.

(Bay Times) Well cum to San Francisco, Bruce Vilanch. I always love it when you come slumming in EssEff. How are things in Hollyweird?

(Vilanch) Everyone keeps urging Warren Beatty to come out, but I tell him to hang tough!

Bruce, you have taken time out from your busy schedule to be a judge at the “Dancing with the Drag Queen Stars” show. I know you are an excellent dancer, because we saw you dance backwards in “Hairspray.” What other qualifications do you have to judge these dancers?

I have lots of ballroom.

When are you going to finally come out … er … no, sorry that’s for my John Travolta interview.

Ask Warren.

Speaking of whom, how do you feel about JT snatching YOUR movie role as Edna Turnblad?

I thought he looked like Kirstie Alley before she cashed the check from Jenny Craig … which I guess is how she looks today.

Will you be doing any dancing at this event?

Only around the issue of Adam Lambert’s sexuality.

Ah yes, an “American Idol” enigma. So Bruce, what is coming up for you, besides this FABULOUS gig with Cheryl Burke et al?

Hey, it’s Pride Month and I’m a gay icon. I’m busier than a DVD player at a sperm bank.

What qualities will you look for in the dancers?

Big packages. If I can get my eyes off those, I suppose I’ll find something else to look at.

In your opinion, what would really put them over the top?

If they would bottom.

What would be a deal breaker?

A house in Pacific Heights.

How do you feel about the dancers’ sexy partners?

I will feel about them with as much dexterity as my little fingers will allow.

What do you think would happen if you asked one of the contestants about gay marriage? Let’s say it’s Suppositori Spelling and she got all Missed U.S.A. Prejean on you?

Catfight!!!

Tell my readers why they absolutely MUST come to “Dancing with the Drag Queen Stars.”

Have they ANYTHING more ridiculous to do to commemorate the Normandy Invasion?
Anything you might like to add?

I have a 9-inch tongue and breathe through my ears.

Thanks so much, Bruce, for letting me get inside your head. There’s a joke there, but I just can’t quite find it.
My head is no joke. Just ask our men in uniform!

My gawd I adore Bruce. Now, on with the 411 about DWTDQS. The VIP reception is from 6-7 p.m. with a chance to mingle with Cheryl, Bruce, VIP hostesses Sister Roma and Suzan Revah, and all the stars with hors d’eourves, a Ciroc vodka sponsored open bar, and photo ops. At 7 p.m. the doors open for general admission, with an optional but strongly encouraged free salsa lesson with headmistress Emily Coles. The competition kicks off at 8:30 p.m. with dance music masterfully supplied by Superstar DJ Thonsey before, during, and after. Recording artist Caroline Lund makes a sensational appearance as featured guest performer for the evening. All tickets include two free beverage coupons, as well as FREE admission to Wunderland, San Francisco’s hottest new late night dance club experience as the official after-party of “Dancing with the Drag Queen Stars.” VIP ticket – $100, from 6-11 p.m. including cocktails and hors d’oeurves reception with Cheryl Burke and the Stars, stagefront table seating for the event. Table seating only – $50, starting from 7-11 p.m. General admission: $20 or $25 at door from 7-11 p.m. Now go polish your dancing pumps and get ready to witness DQs break their heels for you!

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